Empathy: A Superpower for 2020 and Beyond
“Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.” — Mohshin Hamid
Another way to think of empathy is from the EQ-I 2.0, a tool that measures emotional intelligence. That instrument describes empathy as “recognizing, understanding, and appreciating how other people feel. Empathy is being able to articulate your understanding of another’s perspective and behaving in a way that respects others’ feelings.” Regardless of how you want to describe empathy, it is a skill that is absolutely critical to navigating the disorienting landscapes we find ourselves halfway through the year 2020 in ways that promote and maximize human well-being and dignity. We’re facing unprecedent times. Threats to our health and cries for equality have risen even as we struggle to create a new and better normal at home, work, and in society more broadly. So how does empathy fit in as a means for leaders and organizations to humanistically move forward in these times?
Emotional intelligence guru Daniel Goleman in his 2004 article“What Makes a Leader?” for Harvard Business Review says workplace leaders who display empathy bring these humanistic benefits into their organizations:
· Sensitivity to other people’s diverse needs and differences.
· An aptitude for developing others.
· The ability to attract and retain talent.
The humanistic business advantages that empathy brings strike me as foundational for allowing individuals, businesses, and society to recover, create a better normal, and eventually thrive together. As we continue to grapple with the ups and downs of 2020, we’re going to be confronted with conversations where we’ll learn more about the challenges of childcare and anxieties about health and the future than we normally would in a work setting. Emotions will run high and feelings will spill over more frequently. Indeed, empathy may be the facet of emotional intelligence we all need to develop into a superpower if we’re going to navigate these conversations in ways that preserve and promote human and economic well-being alongside each other. The good news? Strengthening empathy is very possible, with practice and feedback. So what can you do to increase your empathy skills to superpower levels?
Be Aware: Any real choice starts with awareness. We can choose to make empathy a part of our conversations and decision-making processes. A key part of this awareness should be an acknowledgement that each person you interact with is wrestling with unique and meaningful challenges. You may be excited about working more frequently from home, but I may be anxious about the prospect. The work of a person looking to be more empathetic is not to understand how they would respond to another person’s challenges but to understand in what ways those challenges are challenging to the other person. Plato said “Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”. In 2020, hard battles abound.
Be Brave: “I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.” That’s what poet Maya Angelou said about being empathetic. Empathy is a soft skill. Some may even see it as the softest of the soft skills. That may be, but it takes a brave person to wield empathy. Being empathetic can mean setting aside our sense of being right and examining long-held assumptions and beliefs. It also may mean handing someone a tissue and being there as emotions come to the surface. The empathetic response isn’t to recoil when faced with different perspectives or tears but to unfurl into the possibility that such a conversation holds to promote learning, build relationships, and create a wiser way forward. That takes courage. Be courageous.
Listen: Listening is in and of itself an empathetic act. Actor Alan Alda says that “real listening is the willingness to let the other person change you”. Another way to put that idea is to say that when we listen to understand the other person, rather than to find our next chance to talk, we’re opening ourselves up to the other person’s experience of the world. If you’re looking for something to practice to be more empathetic, there is no better place to start than learning to be present and really taking in another person’s perspective. If you want to take a step further, try asking someone an open-ended, exploratory question about what they’re feeling and how you might be able to help.
The year 2020 is a time of transition and complexity. With unprecedented disruption to how we live and work, taking care of people has risen in importance, perhaps to the place it always should have been and where it needs to stay. We cannot navigate these times successfully without seeking to understand the unique perspectives and needs of everyone around us. Empathy is the door into that space. Crack it open and look inside.
Written by: Jason Smith.
This article has emerged out of the “Humanizing Initiative,” which seeks to humanize leaders and organizations to cultivate leadership. For more information, please refer to https://www.humanizinginitiative.com
